you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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