what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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