that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
