He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize