yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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