So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize