Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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