come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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