Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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