oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
