you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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