I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize