Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
