Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
