the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
