Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
