Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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