She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
