a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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