After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
