just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
