I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
