I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
