arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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