He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
