Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
