my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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