I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
