yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
