everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
