i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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