Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
not ubering you a puppy
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