oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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