it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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