are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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