Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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