Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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