dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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