why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
