rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
