come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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