i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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