Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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