There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
