Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
