Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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