Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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