Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize