i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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