Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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