So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
