i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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