I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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