it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
