I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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