so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
