i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
