How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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