It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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