there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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