And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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